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Funny school excuses!
May 31, 2008Funny School Excuse Notes
These are excuse notes that school secretaries have actually received. Some of these were in an article in the Detroit News back in the 1970s.
“Please excuse John for being absent Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and 33.”
“Ralph was absent yesterday because of a sour throat.”
“Please excuse Joey Friday. He had loose vowels.”
“Please excuse Joyce from jim today.”
“Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. He fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.”
“Karl was hit yesterday playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.”
“John was absent yesterday because he had a stomach.”
“Please excuse Gloria. She has been sick and under the doctor.”
“Please excuse Sarah from being absent yesterday. She was sick and I had her shot.”
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn’t the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
“Please excuse Johnny for being. It was his father’s fault.”
What number are you?
May 27, 2008You Are 5: The Investigator
You’re independent - and a logical analytical thinker.
You love learning and ideas… and know things no one else does.
Bored by small talk, you refuse to participate in boring conversations.
You are open minded. A visionary. You understand the world and may change it.
At Your Best: You are sharp, inventive, and creative. You have the skills to lead the world.
At Your Worst: You are reclusive, weird, and a bit paranoid.
Your Fixation: Greed
Your Primary Fear: Being useless or incompetent
Your Primary Desire: Being competent and needed
Other Number 5’s: Bill Gates, John Lennon, Kurt Cobain, Bjork, and Stephen Hawking.
www.blogthings.com
Capricorn
May 26, 2008I‘m very much a capricorn and this is very much correct!
Capricorn - Ruled by Saturn : [Dec 22 - Jan 20]
• A Feminine Negative Cardinal Earth Sign
• Polar or Opposite sign: Cancer
• Colour: Dark brown, black and grey
• It is difficult to prise you out of your work ethic, but take time to traverse this room
Capricorn Traits
Positive Traits
• Practical and prudent
• Ambitious and disciplined
• Patient and careful
• Humorous and reserved
Negative Traits
• Pessimistic and fatalistic
• Miserly and grudging
Capricorn Likes: hot, simple food, antiques, history, duties and responsibilities, not being pressured by others, having plenty of unconditional love, lots of personal privacy, new books, and expensive gemstones.
Capricorn Dislikes:untidiness and disorder of all kinds, being teased, surprises, new ideas, loneliness, being made to feel useless or incompetent, and being embarrassed in public.
Important Parameters
Lucky Number - 18
Lucky Color - Peacock Blue
Lucky Flower - Snowdrop, Solomon’s seal
Lucky Gemstone - Garnet
Lucky Day - Friday
General features
A typical Capricorn has good organizational skills, is neat and tidy, have hardheaded practicality. You have strong work ethic, materialistic tendencies, a conservative streak, conventionality and great respect for authority. You are ambitious, serious and dedicated to duty. You are self-disciplined, responsible and practical but at times, you can wallow in self-pity. Your reasoning ability is excellent and has strong sense of purpose and direction.
A Capricorn may appear somber and reserved in their dealings with others, but once they give the trust, they are a loyal and steadfast friend. Socially oriented, you are willing to work hard for anything you want, and your self-esteem is extremely important to you. You are bright and quick. You are good in detail as well as in insight and conceptual formulation. You are materialistic rather than philosophical. You are capable of falling in love for its own pleasure but love alone will not motivate you to marriage. To you marriage serves a social design.
Star Stone for Capricorn
The beautiful Onyx is your star stone. Onyx is a type of agate that is recognized by the alternating, parallel bands of black and white. If the white layer alternates with a different color then the agate is given different names: if red it’s carnelian-onyx, if brown it is sardonyx, and if the second layer is of the pale shades that characterizes common chalcedony it is called chalcedony-onyx. A solid piece of pure black Onyx is dyed. Agates are not always dyed black unless it is called Onyx, (Agate is frequently dyed red, green, blue, etc.)
Capricorn Ruling Planet
Saturn rules the earth sign Capricorn and air sign Aquarius. It plays the role of a taskmaster in the Zodiac. Saturn commands us to get to work and to work hard. Saturn rules time, old age and sobriety. It can bring depression, gloom, jealousy and greed, or serious acceptance of responsibilities out of which success will develop. Learning life’s lessons is key to this Planet, in keeping with its role as teacher.
Taken from: http://www.whereincity.com/astrology/capricorn.php
Yaoi Pics
May 24, 2008I really love Yaoi. I don’t know why, there’s just something about boys love that touches me.
This is Wu Zun and Calvin. Cute huh?
The ultimate lovers, Tomapi! (Toma and Yamapi!)
Oguri Shun and Shirota Yuu! (Hawtness!)
Well, those are just some pics lying around in my computerm might as well put them into good use.
American Idol season finale
May 22, 2008Poor Gaychuleta. But never mind him, he’s young, cute, cuddly and lovable. He’ll make it. (Provided he doesn’t come "out" first)
Emo David won. By a long shot.
And as usual, he cried, looking like a loser of some sort. I find that guy weird, he has this "I used to be a big loser till I joined American Idol and I thank my brother for it" Aura surrounding him. (anyone ever noticed how AI is such a closet show?) so Ryan Seacrest, ever the goody (another Gay dude) was all touchy feely, comforting the poor dude who looked like he was going to pass out from shock. (by the way, for the first time ever, Archuleta didn’t look like he was going to collapse, he must be already used to being number 2)
Was I the only one who noticed that Ryan Seacrest looked tensed?
So everybody went on stage, big brother Cook hugged little brother Cook, (who also looked as if he couldn’t believe it. who also cried like his big brother. What is it with their family?!! He;s hot though.) And everybody sang happily ever after. (well, except maybe for Archuleta dad who looked positively enraged. Hah! That’s what you get for being so meddlesome!)
I think the best part of the show was Sanjaya receiving a tip from Jimmy Kimmel and the midnight train to georgia boys.
Also, the love Guru Mike Myers was funny. (Although kinda forced)
And I want JASON CASTRO.
Gad, I just love how this show is full of closet people.
50 things you can learn from a Korean Drama
May 5, 20081) Hot, rich, younger men love fat, older vulgar women.
2) If you have a best guy friend, he is in love with you. And secretly you are too.
3) You and your boyfriend will always playfully chase each other on an ice rink, at the beach, or in the leaves. And you’ll laugh for no reason and your boyfriend will hit you "playfully" but the force of his push will have you flying across the room. But it’s okay. Cuz you’re still laughing like a crazy person.
4) Brothers/cousin/uncles/nephews will always love the same girl.
5) You’re allowed to make U-turns wherever you want in Korea. And there is never traffic on the side you want to u turn to.
6) There is a super quick payment device that allows you to pay a bill quickly enough for a guy to run immediately out of a restaurant after his angry girlfriend storms out.
7) Everyone has cancer.
8.) If you’re sick, all you need is an IV to make you feel lots better.
9) There is vomit and urine all over Seoul at nights.
10) Fighting at a pojangmacha with a random stranger is merely part of a normal night’s event.
11) Soju must cost 10 cents. Everyone drinks it everyday all the time, especially the poor people.
12) If you’re rich, you’re a jerk.
13) If you’re poor, you’re an angel.
14) Women sleep and wake up with a full set of makeup on.
15) You’re not studying hard enough unless you get a nosebleed.
16) If you have a nosebleed, you most definitely have cancer. And you have no money to pay for the surgery that will save your life. And your liver is missing. We’re not sure where it went, but it’s making your cancer progress faster.
17) If you work in a sool jeep, you have massively curly hair and wear flashy colors from the early 90’s.
18.) You always order orange juice or coffee at a cafe. And you never drink it. EVER.
19) You will always call your boyfriend by his job title. Or simply sunbaenim. Never his name. Never. He doesn’t have one.
20) If you TRULY love each other, you must die together in the end. Frozen outside instead of finding shelter like sane people. Just frozen….
21) You go to America you come back miraculously successful. You go to England you come back amazingly fashionable. You stay in Korea the only thing that changes is your hairstyle.
22) And if you come back with no apparent reason then it’s because you have cancer.
23) Everyone always goes to the same hospital no matter where they are.
24) If you stand out in the rain for more than five minutes, you’ll end up with a fever and vertigo and people will rush you to the hospital to get some magic IV. And instead of taking an ambulance or driving they’ll race you on their back.
25) Even if you’re poor and can’t eat, you never wear the same clothes twice.
26) If you play a poor kid, you always have dirt on your face and your hair is always messy.
27) If you’re saving someone from being hit from a car, you’ll push them out of the way and wait for the car to hit you instead. Big Smile Couldn’t be more true, they’re like a deer in the headlights.
28.) Everyone has a long lost sister/brother/twin. Usually one they didn’t know about.
29) If you don’t want to answer your phone, you can’t just turn it off. The battery needs to be taken out.
30) All Korean men can drink hard, smoke long, sing well and play piano. Usually all at the same time. And at the same restaurant that has a piano that they let anyone use.
31) If you’re in a relationship, you must at one point leave and have your lover tearfully come RIGHT before you board the plane (vice versa applies as well. You can be the chaser). 60% of the time you see each other, the other 40% you’re roaming around in circles and pass each other about six times, but miraculously never see them.
32) If you’re getting off a plane, you’re ALWAYS wearing sunglasses. ALWAYS.
33) All guys wear hideous tracksuits zipped up to their neck. Even if all they’re doing is jump-roping.
34) Girls will always storm off because they’re mad and the guy will stoically grab them by the arm and swing them back—and by magic, not dislocate their shoulders.
35) Guys always look like they’re 6 feet tall, even if they’re only 5′10. Thank you, camera angles.
36) Guys like to wear foundation, eyeliner and sometimes a smudge of lip liner.
37) You always get stuck in an elevator with someone who makes you feel uncomfortable. Even if there are six different elevators, you’ll always be stuck in the same one with that bastard you hate (or just fought with).
38.) Unless you’re fabulously rich, your in-laws will always hate you.
39) So will your sister-in-law.
40) Your brother-in-law might be pining away for you.
41) There are only 2 ways to kiss. You either press your lips against theirs with your mouth completely shut, and just press away for a very long and uncomfortable time. OR you devour the other person and suck out their soul. In both instances, the world spins.
42) A guy will always get the right size ring, even if you’re never held hands.
43) People stare off into space and ponder a lot. They’ll just stop in the middle of the road and watch a leaf on a tree for a good three minutes, and just ponder.
44) You’ll get pregnant the first time you have sex.
45) You’ll get pregnant if he kisses you on the forehead.
46) Hell—you’ll get pregnant if you hold hands.
47) If you overcome great obstacles to be together, one of you must die. Probably due to cancer.
48.) One Korean man can kick the butts of 6 gangstas. Especially when they all stand in a circle and attack the guy one by one. Then when each of them get their butts OWNED, they wise up and attack the guy at the same time. Then the guy will get pulverized and bleed out onto the dusty concrete floor of the empty warehouse they’ve found to fight in. There will be a fire in a trashcan somewhere. And the girl will have watched this the entire time, screaming in horror. Instead of calling 119, she’ll just watch and cry. But it’s okay. Cuz the next day the guy will be fine with a few random bandages and a few face scars. But never a black eye.
49) It ain’t a real fight unless the gangstas fight dirty with a stick or switchblade.
50) If you study in the states (preferably Harvard), you are one of the top students and can speak perfect English (as assumed by the reactions of those around you). Why the rest of the world OUTSIDE of the TV can’t understand a single word uttered out of your melodramatic mouth is beyond me.
Taken from a forum post in crinchyroll.com


